Thursday, October 26, 2017
Wednesday, April 20, 2016
Saturday, September 5, 2015
GLASSES HALF FOOL
Click the tab. My room works well acoustically for recording. The tech problems with moving the site worked out okay (figured out a workaround for my tabs not showing up). the tech problems with the mixer... well... it's good for parts now.
Sunday, March 9, 2014
Monday, August 5, 2013
Why I'm Not a Rock Star Part 2: PLAYING ANYWHERE, ANYTIME, FOR ANYBODY
The best advice I can give to a young musician is this: Play anywhere you can find, at any time whether you're exhausted sick or scared, for any audience.
The exceptions are 1) if it's a cause with which you disagree, and 2) A party Aunt Helen's house--name changed to protect the innocent--because she'll insist you play, "You know, that one about the two people who got together after meeting, you know which one I'm talking about." Sadly, I do, and it my weakest song, and if you want me to play let me do my own show. Fine, I'll do it. #1 is a good reason. #2 is not.
I started off in a duo called Strings Without Guilt, with someone who already had an established name and rep. The plan was that we'd pick up a bass and drum when I got some experience under my belt--note: not a pun for sleeping with groupies--something which made a lot of sense. Experience-wise at that point I had exactly two open mics under that belt, one of which I was booed off the stage. I'd count three, but I never actually finished that one. I started playing the opening chord, and stage fright kicked in so bad that I never got through it, just burst into tears and ran all the way home.
The arrangement Martin and I set up is that I'd do about half the writing, and he'd be the lead singer. Good. I'm a rhythm guitarist who wanted to be in the background anyway. We practiced together for a couple of weeks, and decided that the best way to get me out there was to do the open mic at a local place called Nietzsche's, an open mic that remains open and remains the best in Buffalo. We got through the first song ("Dear God" by XTC, and the only reason I mention it is that there's an ironic twist), then one of his. Then we get to the third, which was one of mine. He turned and whispered to me that he forgot the lyrics and I'd have to sing it. A trick!
But now we were off and running, at least. We did a couple more open mics, started getting some paying gigs, the whole trajectory. We'd play during any of the zillion parties always going on at our house. I wanted to do more, really reach for the ring. I kept suggesting we do all the open mics we could get to, open for anyone, play anyplace. (The last paying gig was in a beer tent at a Niagara Falls festival, when we'd signed to do the main stage.)
The one thing I didn't think about is that Martin had already been through this. He'd played everywhere he could, opened for anyone, taken any gig... but that was with his first band. He'd play when asked, but after a while he didn't really want to be asked anymore. He got together another band, one that he could get high with and who didn't really have any designs on fame and fortune. One of the most humiliating things that ever happened to me in music was when he had SWG open for his new band.
It was never clear that we'd broken up. It should have been. The last time we were on stage together was Dec 4, 2001. And the last song we played was "My Sweet Lord" by George Harrison (there's the irony I promised).
What I should have done is kept going, kept building the career. Instead, I waited for when Martin wanted to do something. I'm not blaming him. I'm blaming stage fright and a feeling I wasn't good enough without him.
A couple of other things made it difficult, too. My daughter was born early in 2002. I had two strokes in 2005. I was losing the feeling in my left hand until an operation last October. Eventually, we made plans to do the long-awaited and long-ago written second album, but that fell apart after one session.
Last November, 2012, I really, really wanted to do the Joe Strummer tribute show. I went through all my old contacts trying to get a spot. I made the mistake of asking Martin. He called me on Tues when the show was on Fri, and said, "This will make you angry. I don't want to do the show. I'm just not feeling it." I wasn't angry. I was free.
But how to go about it? I'm a bit old to start a career from scratch. And though a lot of people knew of Strings Without Guilt, Martin was the star. I got my friends together in Dec so I could do a practice show. And I started over.
I went to the open mic at Nietzche's Jan 7, 2013 the first one they had in the new year. I started doing all the open mics I could get to. A couple of weeks later, I met someone young and hungry for a career, someone who should be a star. I'm writing these disjointed essays for her. She reminded me of someone I used to know in the business, so the second song I wrote in the new situation ("Shadows Talking Again"*) was about the idea of coming back and being the older musician. It plays on an old song that I wrote about the other person ("Shadows"**). The last line of the old song is, "I know where it's going but I don't know where it will end". The first line of the new song is, "When I said I didn't know where it would end, I never thought it would be right here where it all began". But the first place had to be Nietzche's open mic, a symbol of beginning. The last line of the song is, "Another story beginning while another story ends" said twice. The first time means me starting over as SWG ends, and the second means her just starting out while I might never get it right again.
Coming back after having a small measure of fame and recognition is the hard part, but I'm doing the thing that he wouldn't: playing anywhere, anytime, for anybody. It's odd that this late I just last month was my first time opening for someone as a solo artist. Oct will mark the first time I'm headlining a gig. One would think I did those things a long time ago.
Oh, and by the way, the Aunt Helen thing above was really describing a party at my mother's house. She's a backup singer and manager and lawyer for a lot of bands on Long Island. Carmine Appice and Paul Leka were there (which I didn't know), and because I was being such an asshole about not wanting to play, they thought I didn't want a career in music and was just performing to please my mother. So that's the real reason why anywhere, anytime, for anybody is a good idea: You never know who will be in the audience. Want it.
Next time: STAGE FRIGHT
* Shadows Talking Again click this link
** http://normalityquake.blogspot.com/2013/05/the-3-old-songs-lemmings-links-here.html
The exceptions are 1) if it's a cause with which you disagree, and 2) A party Aunt Helen's house--name changed to protect the innocent--because she'll insist you play, "You know, that one about the two people who got together after meeting, you know which one I'm talking about." Sadly, I do, and it my weakest song, and if you want me to play let me do my own show. Fine, I'll do it. #1 is a good reason. #2 is not.
I started off in a duo called Strings Without Guilt, with someone who already had an established name and rep. The plan was that we'd pick up a bass and drum when I got some experience under my belt--note: not a pun for sleeping with groupies--something which made a lot of sense. Experience-wise at that point I had exactly two open mics under that belt, one of which I was booed off the stage. I'd count three, but I never actually finished that one. I started playing the opening chord, and stage fright kicked in so bad that I never got through it, just burst into tears and ran all the way home.
The arrangement Martin and I set up is that I'd do about half the writing, and he'd be the lead singer. Good. I'm a rhythm guitarist who wanted to be in the background anyway. We practiced together for a couple of weeks, and decided that the best way to get me out there was to do the open mic at a local place called Nietzsche's, an open mic that remains open and remains the best in Buffalo. We got through the first song ("Dear God" by XTC, and the only reason I mention it is that there's an ironic twist), then one of his. Then we get to the third, which was one of mine. He turned and whispered to me that he forgot the lyrics and I'd have to sing it. A trick!
But now we were off and running, at least. We did a couple more open mics, started getting some paying gigs, the whole trajectory. We'd play during any of the zillion parties always going on at our house. I wanted to do more, really reach for the ring. I kept suggesting we do all the open mics we could get to, open for anyone, play anyplace. (The last paying gig was in a beer tent at a Niagara Falls festival, when we'd signed to do the main stage.)
The one thing I didn't think about is that Martin had already been through this. He'd played everywhere he could, opened for anyone, taken any gig... but that was with his first band. He'd play when asked, but after a while he didn't really want to be asked anymore. He got together another band, one that he could get high with and who didn't really have any designs on fame and fortune. One of the most humiliating things that ever happened to me in music was when he had SWG open for his new band.
It was never clear that we'd broken up. It should have been. The last time we were on stage together was Dec 4, 2001. And the last song we played was "My Sweet Lord" by George Harrison (there's the irony I promised).
What I should have done is kept going, kept building the career. Instead, I waited for when Martin wanted to do something. I'm not blaming him. I'm blaming stage fright and a feeling I wasn't good enough without him.
A couple of other things made it difficult, too. My daughter was born early in 2002. I had two strokes in 2005. I was losing the feeling in my left hand until an operation last October. Eventually, we made plans to do the long-awaited and long-ago written second album, but that fell apart after one session.
Last November, 2012, I really, really wanted to do the Joe Strummer tribute show. I went through all my old contacts trying to get a spot. I made the mistake of asking Martin. He called me on Tues when the show was on Fri, and said, "This will make you angry. I don't want to do the show. I'm just not feeling it." I wasn't angry. I was free.
But how to go about it? I'm a bit old to start a career from scratch. And though a lot of people knew of Strings Without Guilt, Martin was the star. I got my friends together in Dec so I could do a practice show. And I started over.
I went to the open mic at Nietzche's Jan 7, 2013 the first one they had in the new year. I started doing all the open mics I could get to. A couple of weeks later, I met someone young and hungry for a career, someone who should be a star. I'm writing these disjointed essays for her. She reminded me of someone I used to know in the business, so the second song I wrote in the new situation ("Shadows Talking Again"*) was about the idea of coming back and being the older musician. It plays on an old song that I wrote about the other person ("Shadows"**). The last line of the old song is, "I know where it's going but I don't know where it will end". The first line of the new song is, "When I said I didn't know where it would end, I never thought it would be right here where it all began". But the first place had to be Nietzche's open mic, a symbol of beginning. The last line of the song is, "Another story beginning while another story ends" said twice. The first time means me starting over as SWG ends, and the second means her just starting out while I might never get it right again.
Coming back after having a small measure of fame and recognition is the hard part, but I'm doing the thing that he wouldn't: playing anywhere, anytime, for anybody. It's odd that this late I just last month was my first time opening for someone as a solo artist. Oct will mark the first time I'm headlining a gig. One would think I did those things a long time ago.
Oh, and by the way, the Aunt Helen thing above was really describing a party at my mother's house. She's a backup singer and manager and lawyer for a lot of bands on Long Island. Carmine Appice and Paul Leka were there (which I didn't know), and because I was being such an asshole about not wanting to play, they thought I didn't want a career in music and was just performing to please my mother. So that's the real reason why anywhere, anytime, for anybody is a good idea: You never know who will be in the audience. Want it.
Next time: STAGE FRIGHT
* Shadows Talking Again click this link
** http://normalityquake.blogspot.com/2013/05/the-3-old-songs-lemmings-links-here.html
Saturday, July 20, 2013
Why I'm Not a Rock Star Part 1: DRINKING
(or why Rickie Lee Jones and Macy Gray were has-beens before they were beens)
I should probably save this until the end, when I've gotten you all relaxed, and then we can go back to my place and have a nice bottle of Merlot and...
Wrong subject, sorry. Being single is warping my head a bit.
There are four professions that require you to hang out in bars a lot: Musician, comedian, prostitute, bartender. I've held two of those jobs, and no fair asking which two. There's waiting and boredom attached to each, but with the performers, there's also an adrenalin rush that does not go away with the end of the set or sex act (bartenders get a lot). Many bars also comp drinks to the performers before they go on and during the set. There's one place I play every week where they know I don't drink, but they still comp my drinks in case I change my mind. I finally got them to comp my soda.
You see all these people out there having a good time, and why not join them? Boredom and nerves waiting to go on, then the performance flies by and the buzz doesn't wear off right away. If you're a decent musician and did a good set, you will not have to pay for a drink all night. The thing that we don't process is that this is probably the one night the people out there have been out in a week or a month or six months, and you've got three more shows to do that week alone.
Oh, did I happen to mention that most of us were nerds in high school? No? How do you think we had all that time to practice while you were off having fun and doing stuff? We want to be liked. Any musician who is any good is either living entirely in their own heads (maybe half) or screaming to the world, "Please! Pay attention to me!" (the other half).
I used to drink, and it became so integrated into how I approached music, that when I quit I worried that I could never be truly creative again. But those who are screaming for people to pay attention make asshole drunks. I know, 'cause I was one of them, and so was my music partner, and so are a lot of the others I see when I'm out.
I quit drinking entirely, and though still an asshole deep inside, though still screaming for someone, anyone to pay attention, those thoughts only come out in lyric form. I've also seen many an alcoholic musician who could never face going back into the bars. I had commitments when I quit. As terrifying as they were, I kept them, so it was something of a forced landing. Now I find I like being able to remember shows. The only drawback is that people try to buy me drinks all the time, and many have gotten offended that I just ask for a diet cola (no ice).
It was only near the end that I drank every day. Lots of people say that is the test of being an alcoholic, if you can go days or weeks without drinking. The real test is whether you get drunk WHEN ALCOHOL IS AVAILABLE. If someone offers you a drink and you don't ever just say, "No, thank you," (Nancy Reagan was rude), then that is a problem.
A good test: http://alcoholism.about.com/od/tests/l/blquiz_alcohol.htm
I was talking to John Lombardo--formerly of 10,000 Maniacs--about this earlier last week, and told him I'm doing this one first. He suggested all I really need to say is, "No one would take a haircut from a drunken barber, why would anyone take a show from a drunken musician?"
I didn't really want to start with a serious tone, but this is a subject that I have a bit of trouble joking about. I ruined a lot around me, and some of the scars still haven't healed over. Yet I started with it because it is the most important.
Second most important is SHOWING UP EVERYWHERE, which I'll cover next time.
I should probably save this until the end, when I've gotten you all relaxed, and then we can go back to my place and have a nice bottle of Merlot and...
Wrong subject, sorry. Being single is warping my head a bit.
There are four professions that require you to hang out in bars a lot: Musician, comedian, prostitute, bartender. I've held two of those jobs, and no fair asking which two. There's waiting and boredom attached to each, but with the performers, there's also an adrenalin rush that does not go away with the end of the set or sex act (bartenders get a lot). Many bars also comp drinks to the performers before they go on and during the set. There's one place I play every week where they know I don't drink, but they still comp my drinks in case I change my mind. I finally got them to comp my soda.
You see all these people out there having a good time, and why not join them? Boredom and nerves waiting to go on, then the performance flies by and the buzz doesn't wear off right away. If you're a decent musician and did a good set, you will not have to pay for a drink all night. The thing that we don't process is that this is probably the one night the people out there have been out in a week or a month or six months, and you've got three more shows to do that week alone.
Oh, did I happen to mention that most of us were nerds in high school? No? How do you think we had all that time to practice while you were off having fun and doing stuff? We want to be liked. Any musician who is any good is either living entirely in their own heads (maybe half) or screaming to the world, "Please! Pay attention to me!" (the other half).
I used to drink, and it became so integrated into how I approached music, that when I quit I worried that I could never be truly creative again. But those who are screaming for people to pay attention make asshole drunks. I know, 'cause I was one of them, and so was my music partner, and so are a lot of the others I see when I'm out.
I quit drinking entirely, and though still an asshole deep inside, though still screaming for someone, anyone to pay attention, those thoughts only come out in lyric form. I've also seen many an alcoholic musician who could never face going back into the bars. I had commitments when I quit. As terrifying as they were, I kept them, so it was something of a forced landing. Now I find I like being able to remember shows. The only drawback is that people try to buy me drinks all the time, and many have gotten offended that I just ask for a diet cola (no ice).
It was only near the end that I drank every day. Lots of people say that is the test of being an alcoholic, if you can go days or weeks without drinking. The real test is whether you get drunk WHEN ALCOHOL IS AVAILABLE. If someone offers you a drink and you don't ever just say, "No, thank you," (Nancy Reagan was rude), then that is a problem.
A good test: http://alcoholism.about.com/od/tests/l/blquiz_alcohol.htm
I was talking to John Lombardo--formerly of 10,000 Maniacs--about this earlier last week, and told him I'm doing this one first. He suggested all I really need to say is, "No one would take a haircut from a drunken barber, why would anyone take a show from a drunken musician?"
I didn't really want to start with a serious tone, but this is a subject that I have a bit of trouble joking about. I ruined a lot around me, and some of the scars still haven't healed over. Yet I started with it because it is the most important.
Second most important is SHOWING UP EVERYWHERE, which I'll cover next time.
Wednesday, July 3, 2013
Why I'm Not a Rock Star part 0 of many
So I finish the pre-demo demos, and all of a sudden I disappear from the net. Well, not quite. I have been busy doing that other thing I'm supposed to do: write stuff that doesn't rhyme and takes up over three hundred pages.
Oh, and I'm pulling the song "Communications" from the set. I never really liked it, and it never quite gelled, but that's my opinion, and part of it comes from not caring about the subject matter anymore. I've written a song that blows it away. I will record soon.
To help at least part of my music mind stay sharp, however, I've decided to do a bunch of short pieces--maybe funny, maybe not--called "Why I'm Not a Rock Star". It doesn't bother me that I'm not (yes it does), but I know a couple of people in their early 30s who should be stars, and maybe the benefit of my own hindsight will help. I know, I know, but I love them both and I have to try.
Slight update a month later:
1) So far (I'm writing this update just after writing part 2) I'm not going humorous, but more trying to write my music career straight.-up.
2) While I said a couple of people in their early 30s, one is much younger than I thought. Were this a sitcom, the misunderstanding would have gotten lots of jokes and been nominated for an Emmy, but it real life it caused some difficulty between us. (It's now thankfully resolved by her reaching out first, and me apologizing for being an asshole. 94.68% of the problem was my fault.)
3) Turns out I'm writing these for her anyway, and not for both my friends. The other thinks I'm preaching at him, which was not my intent.
4) Lastly, it turns out I have no special insight to give. Nothing has knocked me off my high horse more than trying to write honest autobiography.
Oh, and I'm pulling the song "Communications" from the set. I never really liked it, and it never quite gelled, but that's my opinion, and part of it comes from not caring about the subject matter anymore. I've written a song that blows it away. I will record soon.
To help at least part of my music mind stay sharp, however, I've decided to do a bunch of short pieces--maybe funny, maybe not--called "Why I'm Not a Rock Star". It doesn't bother me that I'm not (yes it does), but I know a couple of people in their early 30s who should be stars, and maybe the benefit of my own hindsight will help. I know, I know, but I love them both and I have to try.
Slight update a month later:
1) So far (I'm writing this update just after writing part 2) I'm not going humorous, but more trying to write my music career straight.-up.
2) While I said a couple of people in their early 30s, one is much younger than I thought. Were this a sitcom, the misunderstanding would have gotten lots of jokes and been nominated for an Emmy, but it real life it caused some difficulty between us. (It's now thankfully resolved by her reaching out first, and me apologizing for being an asshole. 94.68% of the problem was my fault.)
3) Turns out I'm writing these for her anyway, and not for both my friends. The other thinks I'm preaching at him, which was not my intent.
4) Lastly, it turns out I have no special insight to give. Nothing has knocked me off my high horse more than trying to write honest autobiography.
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