The best advice I can give to a young musician is this: Play anywhere you can find, at any time whether you're exhausted sick or scared, for any audience.
The exceptions are 1) if it's a cause with which you disagree, and 2) A party Aunt Helen's house--name changed to protect the innocent--because she'll insist you play, "You know, that one about the two people who got together after meeting, you know which one I'm talking about." Sadly, I do, and it my weakest song, and if you want me to play let me do my own show. Fine, I'll do it. #1 is a good reason. #2 is not.
I started off in a duo called Strings Without Guilt, with someone who already had an established name and rep. The plan was that we'd pick up a bass and drum when I got some experience under my belt--note: not a pun for sleeping with groupies--something which made a lot of sense. Experience-wise at that point I had exactly two open mics under that belt, one of which I was booed off the stage. I'd count three, but I never actually finished that one. I started playing the opening chord, and stage fright kicked in so bad that I never got through it, just burst into tears and ran all the way home.
The arrangement Martin and I set up is that I'd do about half the writing, and he'd be the lead singer. Good. I'm a rhythm guitarist who wanted to be in the background anyway. We practiced together for a couple of weeks, and decided that the best way to get me out there was to do the open mic at a local place called Nietzsche's, an open mic that remains open and remains the best in Buffalo. We got through the first song ("Dear God" by XTC, and the only reason I mention it is that there's an ironic twist), then one of his. Then we get to the third, which was one of mine. He turned and whispered to me that he forgot the lyrics and I'd have to sing it. A trick!
But now we were off and running, at least. We did a couple more open mics, started getting some paying gigs, the whole trajectory. We'd play during any of the zillion parties always going on at our house. I wanted to do more, really reach for the ring. I kept suggesting we do all the open mics we could get to, open for anyone, play anyplace. (The last paying gig was in a beer tent at a Niagara Falls festival, when we'd signed to do the main stage.)
The one thing I didn't think about is that Martin had already been through this. He'd played everywhere he could, opened for anyone, taken any gig... but that was with his first band. He'd play when asked, but after a while he didn't really want to be asked anymore. He got together another band, one that he could get high with and who didn't really have any designs on fame and fortune. One of the most humiliating things that ever happened to me in music was when he had SWG open for his new band.
It was never clear that we'd broken up. It should have been. The last time we were on stage together was Dec 4, 2001. And the last song we played was "My Sweet Lord" by George Harrison (there's the irony I promised).
What I should have done is kept going, kept building the career. Instead, I waited for when Martin wanted to do something. I'm not blaming him. I'm blaming stage fright and a feeling I wasn't good enough without him.
A couple of other things made it difficult, too. My daughter was born early in 2002. I had two strokes in 2005. I was losing the feeling in my left hand until an operation last October. Eventually, we made plans to do the long-awaited and long-ago written second album, but that fell apart after one session.
Last November, 2012, I really, really wanted to do the Joe Strummer tribute show. I went through all my old contacts trying to get a spot. I made the mistake of asking Martin. He called me on Tues when the show was on Fri, and said, "This will make you angry. I don't want to do the show. I'm just not feeling it." I wasn't angry. I was free.
But how to go about it? I'm a bit old to start a career from scratch. And though a lot of people knew of Strings Without Guilt, Martin was the star. I got my friends together in Dec so I could do a practice show. And I started over.
I went to the open mic at Nietzche's Jan 7, 2013 the first one they had in the new year. I started doing all the open mics I could get to. A couple of weeks later, I met someone young and hungry for a career, someone who should be a star. I'm writing these disjointed essays for her. She reminded me of someone I used to know in the business, so the second song I wrote in the new situation ("Shadows Talking Again"*) was about the idea of coming back and being the older musician. It plays on an old song that I wrote about the other person ("Shadows"**). The last line of the old song is, "I know where it's going but I don't know where it will end". The first line of the new song is, "When I said I didn't know where it would end, I never thought it would be right here where it all began". But the first place had to be Nietzche's open mic, a symbol of beginning. The last line of the song is, "Another story beginning while another story ends" said twice. The first time means me starting over as SWG ends, and the second means her just starting out while I might never get it right again.
Coming back after having a small measure of fame and recognition is the hard part, but I'm doing the thing that he wouldn't: playing anywhere, anytime, for anybody. It's odd that this late I just last month was my first time opening for someone as a solo artist. Oct will mark the first time I'm headlining a gig. One would think I did those things a long time ago.
Oh, and by the way, the Aunt Helen thing above was really describing a party at my mother's house. She's a backup singer and manager and lawyer for a lot of bands on Long Island. Carmine Appice and Paul Leka were there (which I didn't know), and because I was being such an asshole about not wanting to play, they thought I didn't want a career in music and was just performing to please my mother. So that's the real reason why anywhere, anytime, for anybody is a good idea: You never know who will be in the audience. Want it.
Next time: STAGE FRIGHT
* Shadows Talking Again click this link
** http://normalityquake.blogspot.com/2013/05/the-3-old-songs-lemmings-links-here.html
No comments:
Post a Comment